A SIMPLE WAY TO WEAN THE PIGS FROM THE TROUGH

Like most sensible men, I hate shopping. But John Lewis I can tolerate. Fabulous store, fabulous restaurant, usually fabulous service. If only I was an MP – I could afford to shop there regularly.

It transpires that our Members – an appropriate epithet – can claim up to £23,000 a year towards the cost of a second home. And to help they have a ‘shopping list’ supplied by John Lewis.

For instance, they can order a new kitchen for £10,000, a suite of furniture for £2,000, a hi-fi system for £750, a fridge-freezer for £550. And so it goes on …

Now I concede that those from distant parts need a ‘crash pad’ in London. With a few basics to make it habitable. But a John Lewis crash pad!? What’s wrong with an IKEA crash pad? Nothing.

Let’s send the greedy bastards to IKEA. And insist they only get the allowance if they agree to personally put together every single piece of flat-pack furniture.

Then let’s see how much time or inclination they have to swill in their freeloading trough.