Who is the UK’s most successful author, apart from JK Rowling?
Ian McEwan, Ian Rankin, Alan Bennett? Or Jordan perhaps?
That’s right, she of the mighty bazookas. Jordan, aka Katie Price, is one of the nation’s top-selling writers. That fine incisive brain has wowed hundreds of thousands of people into buying her words of wisdom.
It’s enough to make a proper writer commit wordicide.
The latest celebrities to jump on the book bandwagon are Geri Haliwell and Coleen McLoughlin. We are talking kiddies’ books here, of course, because they probably don’t know enough words for a grown-up book. But even so …
My mate Frank, who has written a word or two in his time*, tells me he’s thinking of having some hormone treatment to hurry up his man boobs. Or perhaps a lobotomy to attain the same brain power as these literary giants.
He will then marry a famous footballer, launch his own perfume, Eau d’Less (come on, think about it), and then watch his literary style reach the quality worthy of mega-bucks marketing and distribution.
*If you can’t wait that long, visit www.huckbooks and have a browse of the website of a thoroughly pissed-off man.
I thank you …
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