JOCKEY SHORT OF THE WEEK: Anyone who wants to leave this great country of ours – and lots of people are doing it for reasons as varied as the immigration problem, the weather, and excessive John Barrowman – must first take the Great British Eccentric Test.
Anyone who passes will never be allowed to leave the country. It’s what makes the UK the wonderland it is.
Well, didn’t you wonder about the female Doctor Doolittle who took her two pet ducks on holiday, from Leeds to Scotland, to get over the death of a third ducky friend?
And what about the so-called fortune-tellers, mediums, and spiritual healers who marched on Downing Street on Friday to protest against Government plans to replace the Fraudulent Mediums Act of 1951 with new consumer protection rules that will remove key legal protection for "genuine" mediums?
They demonstrated their genuine psychic powers by turning up as Prime Minister Gordon Brown was busy in America.
All this amid gruesome headlines that I won’t inflict on you again. It makes life bearable. It puts a smile on the day.
Thank you, nutters everywhere!
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