COMING SOON – AMERICA'S GOT HITMEN

Wanted – one redneck to shoot Robert Mugabe.

I don’t like to advocate violence, let alone execution, so let’s just call this one euthanasia. To ease the suffering of an entire nation. And, thinking laterally, I call for a redneck to do it to spare the world another horror.

I predict that Barack Obama will win the American election by a mile, thanks in no small part to a Bush Backlash, to become the first black president of the USA. This will show that America has taken great strides since the death of Martin Luther King.

But I further predict that within the first six months of his administration some redneck will try to execute Obama. This will show that the fascism of Redneckery and the Bible Belt is as strong as ever.

So all we need to do is to convince the rednecks that they will be doing their white world an even bigger favour by topping the epitome of the evil black man.

In the spirit of 2008 and American Free Enterprise, I suggest a TV programnme, provisionally titled America’s Got Hitmen, be hastily organised to Solve The Problem That Is Mugabe.

The mad despot is currently ridding the country of all foreigners so he can rig the election run-off. Even if no one but his henchmen vote for him, to sustain their meal-ticket (the only one left in that sad country), he will win the election.

So, rednecks, get out into the woods and practise your hog shooting – and keep your eyes peeled for the forthcoming website, www.bobslaying.com. Read the very short FAQs section and then click on Contact Us Y’All.