SLIGHT SNAG WITH THE CofEBABES

I didn’t go to church yesterday. Or the Sunday before that. Or … anytime in the past few deacdes, unless it was in a good cause (Christmas fete), a wedding, or a funeral.

And I’m not the slightest bit contrite, because I’m not one of the millions of average lapsed Christians; I’m a full-blown atheist. We’re still a strange minority to many people. Probably a bit like conchies were in the last war – ‘okay, they’ve got principles but there’s something not quite right about them. How can they disbelieve something that so many people take for granted?’

But once you’re convinced there’s no turning back. No wavering, no veering towards agnostic just in case. Which is just as well after seeing the Reverend Joanna Jepson (pictured here) on Breakfast news yesterday. Pretty, blonde and, instead of a boring black top and dog collar, a black shirt open at the neck and a stand-alone dog collar that was really a black choker with a white insert. Very trendy. A veritable clerical babe.

If more communities had a vicar like her, the Church of England would be rejuvenated. The lapsed, the uncertain, the lascivious would all be making a beeline to watch the CofEBabes pontificate from the altar.

The Rev Jo was pontificating yesterday. Something about the government marginalising the Church of England. Something about … to tell the truth, I didn’t really catch it. I was too distracted by the choker dog collar.

Mmm. Slight snag with the master plan. Maybe it needs a little work on before I submit my list of CofEBabes to the Synod.