These are violent times we live in. Unless you’re a badger.
Apparently they are passing on deadly bovine TB to our cattle, but the government has rejected the advice of its chief scientist to cull badgers in some areas to prevent further spread of the disease.
At a time when the world is having to face the fact that it is not producing enough food to feed its ever-escalating billions of people, this does not make a lot of sense.
Unless, of course, we start to eat badgers. I therefore propose the first badger farm, to be built in the environs of the Palace of Westminster. A televised celebrity badger hunt, led by Bill Oddie and Kate Humble, will be organised to round up the first inmates – to be collectively called a bristle of badgers.
Celebrity chefs will then take it in turns to create badger recipes. ‘Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Gordon Ramsey will demonstrate Badger En Crouton. In the B Word kitchen with him will be the Anti Swearing League chairman, Celia Molestrangler, who will create her own version of Badger and Kidney Pie. Tonight’s diners will deliver their verdict on which is the best dish. And if Ramsey loses, Celia had better put her hands over her ears.’
Or then again .. we could just organise a cull of the cretinous politicians who decided to ignore their chief scientist.
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