LOOK – BEWARE MY PAINFUL POLITICAL LEEK!

Now, look – I’m going to get friggin’ angry if a politician ever says that to my face. It’s bad enough on TV.

Have you noticed? It’s one of those tricks that politicians are taught by the speaking coaches the major parties hire. It always starts a sentence, and is delivered in such a way that it really means, ‘Look, don’t you dare contradict me, I know what I’m doing, I am right, and everyone else is talking out of their arse.’

Eyebrows Darling said it more than once yesterday morning as he was trying to explain why the Government has given away so much of our money to save the greedy banks.

‘Now, look …’ Or sometimes, the even more dismissive, ‘Look …’

I first really noticed this speech tic when Tony Blair was taught to use it regularly. It has probably been going on ever since politicians realised they didn’t have to speak off the cuff; they could just parrot any number of stock phrases joined together.

But recent or no, it’s certainly caught on. They all do it, whichever party they belong to. So …

Look, I’m warning you silly bastards – STOP IT! Or I’ll track you down one by one and prove the electorate really knows who’s talking out of their arse – by shoving a big fat leek up yours till not a squeak can escape.